Is incest normal???

I am currently watching a series called Billy and Billie, its quite weird as it centers around a step sibling couple. They try their best to show us how in love they are and yet they were raised together when their parents found love.

They were in their preteen years. Well call me old fashioned but i dont think thats normal.  They both call their parents ‘mum and ‘dad’ while they both harboured sexual feeling for each other. That is some weirdo shit. Then i also watched a British show called ‘Him’ which is also circling around that plot. The mother remarrys and her new husband has a daughter about the same age as her son. Like any normal hormone raging boy, he develops a crush on her.
Cant help but think of my own situation.  i am currently about to have a child on my own. The inevitable will definitely happen where  myself and/or my babys father will move on. I will get an amazing man. Mature and responsible, confident enough to love me and my child.
However, what if he has a child of his own? What if they are close in age? What if they develop a crush on each other?? 😷

Then i begun telling myself, well, i just have to make sure he doesnt have any children. But is this fair to him? I already have a small selection of men to pick from and now one who wont have any strings attached??! Is it fair that i expect to be loved with my child but i cannot accept one who has one?

Well, being a parent as i learn each day is definitely riddles with many  dilemmas, questions and sacrifices.

Do you know of any step sibling couples? Are you in one?  Do you think it is normal for step siblings to find love? Share your thoughts.


32 weeks

How did we get here??  You are getting bigger each day! When does it happen? Just as i sleep you are busy stretching out my tummy and creating more space into my life, my heart, my bed.

I am about 8 weeks away from due date 😨
This is getting to be really serious!!
I havent yet even created space for your clothes although your shosho already bought you clothes.
They are so tiny , so cute, so blue.
I wonder if i should schedule another scan to see you again.

A truly wonderful experience it was the first time, something i can do over and over again!
We just got home from the convention,  thanks for being a good boy and not making me too tired.  I hope you enjoyed the singing. A change from the crazy music you are exposed to at work.
I think about labor often. I hope it wont be too bad for either of us. I want us to come to an agreement that you wonr let me suffer too much, i think you are in the right position,  so please just make it a short experience. I have done my part, swimming, walking,  please let it  be smooth and natural.  🙏

You move quite frequently now. Powerful kicks, twitches and nudges. I really cannot ignore you now.

Neither can anybody else!!

The End

I met him while our eyes were innocent
We kissed while our lips were still plump
We hugged when our arms were so strong
And we laughed like none could do wrong

But soon the excitement faded
The good times felt bleak
Love became downgraded
No longer something i wanted to seek

His words changed in tone
And his eyes darker by the day
He received more attention than he had known
And he loved it in every way

The smiles and memories all seemed ro fade away
The love we once had became so distant
And just like the times we live in now,
We were facing the end.

Now i loathe all the time wasted on something that wasn’t taken seriously
I cry for my wounded heart
And i pray for guidance on this new path

I had forgotten how it feels to be alone
Relying on somebody else for my own happiness
Though come to think of it
I couldve been alone all along…

Westgate Documentary: A Perfect Summary

Having just watched this moving documentary I feel it is important for me to share. I cant believe it is already a year since that fateful day. I think most Kenyans can remember where they were when they heard the news. I was at work, on a Saturday eager to leave and begin enjoying the Saturday. Our company had a stand there and when it happened one of my colleagues called so as to warn nobody else not to go to Westgate (something that I had planned to do only that I had a hangover). The rest of the day was downhill from there. I am happy to say that at least we did not lose any of our colleagues but it does send shivers down my spine to even imagine it. So many Kenyans knew somebody or was somehow affected by the events of that day. See my post on it here.

This day is dark to Kenyans and this documentary perfectly captured the stories of the people who experienced it. From a mother of an 8 month old to the workers at Nakumatt, the stories will truly touch every person and cause them to think.The actions by our Kenyan police and military was shameful, with them letting ordinary citizens go in and show them how to do their job, is a complete disgrace and the documentary doesn’t hide that fact and you can see for yourself. For those few men who fearlessly ran in, that action was truly phenomenal and God in action.

It is also confusing to know that as Kenyans we were riddled in fear for over 3 days! According to this documentary, the people were killed by an explosion sent out by the police. We had come to the conclusion that those terrorists were out of there by 9 pm.Whatever it was, they were calm and ready for whatever that was coming next.

Anyway I think we must remember that today’s world is not the same as 10 years ago. we are scanned even when we enter arcades and it will not get any better. My message to my fellow Kenyans, and even internationally, would be, keep low and stay indoors, for they are waiting for us to relax then they strike!

Again my heart goes out to all of the victims of that dark day.

Here it is, watch at your own discretion..

Have you learned something new? Did it stir up emotions in you? I would love to hear from you! Comment below.

blame it on the weatherman

Tick tock. All she could hear was the ticking sound of the clock. Mariam had always promised herself to get a digital and finally end the misery of her having to listening to the annoying sound but she never got round to it. There she sat again, listening to it as she tried to fall asleep on the couch, ‘I can’t believe he’s not come to check up on me!’ she muttered to herself. ‘I,m really done this time!’ she promised herself.

She had been down this road before, but the hurt she felt deep in her heart was a new feeling. “It was an informal business meeting” the words kept revisiting her mind over and over again. This seemed like the fiftieth time he was going for a business or late meeting and ended up in a fight. But now as with the Swahili culture, a man could never sleep on the couch and since he is not the one who had a problem, Mariam would be the one to sleep on the couch. She gets up and slowly tip toes her way to the bathroom. As she is heading there, she hears Ashraf on the phone. She leans closer to the door and hears him saying ‘I love you too’ then hangs up. This is it. he has really done it this time.

Not only was Ashraf the man of her youth, the only man she has ever known and promised to know, but now he is wasting that away with some cheap hookers he meets in the workplace? He was not going to get away with it this time. She felt her body tense and she begins to shake. Mariam stormed in the room,

“You cheating bastard!” she yelled, “who is she? I have heard you!! Today is the day I will leave you Ashraf!”

Miriam was no longer herself; she had taken on another personality. Shetan as Ashraf would often call her, that’s what she felt like and he knew she had become. Ashraf remained calm in the bed, looking at her with an indifferent gaze that she loathed. “Baby, take a look at my phone” he said gesturing for her to take the phone. Miriam stormed towards the bed and grabbed the phone. Punching the buttons she immediately went to dialed calls. Mum. That was the most recent call on the list. She felt her body immediately relax. She looks up at him and realizes that its her hormones that made her act that way. “baby, I am so sorry. I don’t know what comes over me some times.” “Must be PMS” he immediately responds, “My mom thinks you could be having severe ca…” Ashraf stops mid way due to the angry look Miriam is giving him. “Just come to bed babez” he pleads as he uncovers the bed, let’s just blame it on the weatherman this time.”

kids dont do drugs.. just briefly in college;)


today as i was driving to work the radio played ‘I will always love you’ by Whitney Houston and informed us how the song was played as she was leaving the church on the day of her burial. i bet she never in a million years, when she was writing that song did the thought cross her mind of being rolled out in her coffin to her greatest hit of all time!. then again maybe she did as she was a frequent cocaine and marijuana* user.being introduced to drugs by her boyfriend (Bobby Brown) years ago, the two must’ve had a good time enjoying the erotic high feeling they would get from the drugs. made her crazy enough to actually agree to be in that crazy ‘being Bobby Brown’ show. (haven’t watched many of them as don’t think they have been shown here but from the short clips i see n hear.. it must be a crazy show!)


i also recently watched the E true Hollywood story of Amy Winehouse who is another tragic case of drugs. i was shocked to learn that she was also introduced to drugs by her long time boyfriend. its so surprising to learn that these successful women were pressured into drugs by their men which eventually led to their downfall.

Imageso i am not putting the blame 100% on the men, but its just sad to see their downfall right infront of us as you can jus google and find hundreds of awful pictures of these women and just a few where they look good and those look ancient!

what i am trying to get at is if you are going to do drugs, its not fair to force or encourage it for others. do not pressure anyone to do anything that you know is wrong and could hurt someone else. i never get how some people have such a good time derailing people all the time. “ah, c’mon its not that addictive,” or “jus do it once today” “our sex will be great when we are both high” bla bla bla… when you go to jump off the cliff,(figuratively speaking) do it on your own and don’t drag anyone down with you. if you think smoking weed looks cool and you want to try it, do it on your own or find someone/group of people with similar interests.. but don’t go spoiling some body else’s child.. its not right.

sheznitt out!

*marijuana use causes deep meditation of the past, present and future (sounds real cool if you read this with a Jamaican accent.hehe)



the news last night was very.. being an up and coming journalist, i watch the news..:p but anyway there is this whole stir in Kenya because of the discovery of oil in Turkana. so get this, Turkana is one of the arid and poorest regions in our country. you know most of the big bellied, rib cage showing pictures you see form Africa are from Turkana sort of areas.Image

then this UK based company, Towell or something comes along, drills approx. 2500m into the ground and discovers oil..?? i tell you one of the ironies of life. now people are excited thinking that this means we are the next Libya or Nigeria.. well i wouldnt go to that extent just yet but it is quite awesome. now if the oil is any good, infrastructure must be built in that area ASAP thus creating jobs and riches for us.

well as a look at life as the glass half full kind of girl, i hope this all goes well and helps improve some lives in the region. i tell you, Africa truly is the motherland.. where else do you stumble on oil in you’re deserted backyard??

VIVA AFRIQUE!!  zaminamina eh eh wakawaka eh eh…